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Farkitrol®
for Missing White Girl Syndrome
Farkitrol®
for Beach Depression / Shark Mania (BDSM)
Farkitrol®
for Mediastatial Germaphobia
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Skinned knees build character. Farkitrol® for Dangerous Playgrounditis (DP) What could possibly be more dangerous for your child than a plot of land filled with descending slopes, moving parts, pipes and bars? How about not letting them have any fun with it? Every single year, the Mainstream Media reports on exactly how unsafe it is for a kid to go out and play on the grounds that have been designated "playgrounds". Farkitrol® works by helping the patient realize that they were once kids themselves, and that falling down and scraping an elbow or slamming their shins against the ladder for the monkeybars didn't kill them. It just made them learn how not do that the next time. Clinical studies have shown that subjects treated with Farkitrol® have stopped allowing society to dictate what's acceptible for their children. It's your child, dammit. Short of stuffing it full of Ny-Quil to make it sleep or beating it with a belt buckle, no one should care how you raise it. Just do your best and try to raise it how you feel is right. Honestly, if you can keep the little bastards from talking in the theater during a movie, most of society will deem you a successful parent. This Web site is intended to help you understand how using Farkitrol® can help you realize it's a baby, not a Fabergie egg. It won't shatter if you swing it around a bit and let it have some fun. But only you can make that determination. |
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